Who Am I?

Do you ever just feel lost? Lost in thought, lost in life? I have a lot of days where I feel that way. Lost as in sitting here thinking of all the things I should be doing, could be doing...or even things I want to do. I don't know where I'm going...

Let me preface this by saying that I KNOW my Lord and Savior, and I KNOW that I will be spending eternity in heaven...that is not what I am talking about. I'm talking about doing my work down here. What does God want of me? What does God desire I do with this life He has given me? I'm not completely sure. All I can do is pray. I pray I'm a good wife to James...and mother to Cadence. I have a hard time understanding God's timing a lot, but really, who doesn't? It's a Great Mystery. But it's funny how once you have made it through a storm, or a trial, or a moment of joy and look back and see what God saw from the beginning. His timing really is perfect, even though we don't understand it.

Sometimes I feel lost at my job; like should I be in college right now? I know I want to go back, but when is the right time? We certainly don't have the finances right now, and I am not sure I want to spend my extra time away from Cadence. All the time I have with her is so precious.

Should we be in the military? Is James meant to join? We don't know that either. It feels like we have been here so many times before. How is this time different? Will God allow him to lose the weight he needs off and be able to join? I have so many unanswered questions, and who knows if they will ever get answered...

I choose to take it all in stride. Keep praying that God's will be done and keep trusting Him.

That's all I have...